You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
