a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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