Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
