So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
