five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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