plz talk dirty to me
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You took a bar mat shot.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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