Define "chronic" masturbator.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
