Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
only you would photoshop your dick
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
