Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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