they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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