Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
