since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
