My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
