don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The uberlube is also flammable
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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