Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize