Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize