Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
my god I love twenty year old dicks
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
