I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i don't like sucking hair
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
