hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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