They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
