i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize