It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize