Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
