Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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