Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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