I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
did i just pee glitter
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
