so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
