Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
