I wish i was in the wii world.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
