i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
