I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
