I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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