That's when you crack a 10am beer
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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