Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize