just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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