he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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