He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
