Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
