The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
