I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Michael Bay diarrhea
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
soo... how was my night?
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