Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize