Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
