yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
