Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
