im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize