Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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