question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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