I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
