Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
