I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
