The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
