Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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