We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
