They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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