Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
