dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
