Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
