Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i think my cat just said my name.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
