I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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