She said her name was "party"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
