is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
