It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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