Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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