I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize