none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
