she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Barsexuality is the new black.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
