Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's rum buckets o'clock
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
