At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
