Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Terrible idea I love it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
