it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
