So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
