It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
there is puke in my bra ... again
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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