And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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