He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
